The Irresistible Pull of Argyle . . . And Skulls

Okay, I was all set to make fun of this sweater--of the entire line Libertine has done for Target. I had all these great, snarky comments planned like "I imagine that the American people are in for a long winter of watching suburban soccer moms run around in these things, pining for the good old days when they were bad-asses, just like Debbie in that Bowling For Soup video."

I wrote an entirely different post on the subject* and then I changed my mind.

I took a longer look at this sweater, and checked out the other items on offer at Target's website. I read a couple of reviews by other bloggers. After awhile, I began to find myself strangely drawn to this stuff, particularly to what I know full well is one ugly-ass sweater vest.

But damn, where would I wear a candy-colored, argyle-and-skull-print sweater vest? It wouldn't fit in with the rest of my clothes. My clothes would huddle together and whisper about The Vest.

BASIC WORK PANTS, GREY: I don't know about this: It's so . . . bright.
BASIC WORK PANTS, OTHER GREY: And skully.
BASIC WORK PANTS, BROWN: Yeah. I'm out. I'm definitely out. I can't see this working at all.

The Ger-Man strolled in, and I showed him the picture of The Ugly-Ass Sweater Vest.

"That's ugly." he said. He stared at it for a moment, and then admitted that it's an interesting, unique piece of clothing.

What is it about the combination of argyle and skulls that's so damned appealing? The colors are horrible. I would probably look silly in it, but I can't dismiss it as simply an ugly-ass sweater vest. I have somehow upgraded the thing to An Interesting, Albeit Ugly-Ass, Sweater Vest.

* Because this is the sort of hard-hitting subject I tackle when not writing about Jonathan Coulton, Polkaboy or Whatever Random News Story Pissed Me Off The Most This Morning.

Reduced Fat Wheat Thins - The Sweetest Thing?

Ingredients list from Nabisco's website.

"Ingredients: ENRICHED FLOUR (WHEAT FLOUR, NIACIN, REDUCED IRON, THIAMINE MONONITRATE [VITAMIN B1], RIBOFLAVIN [VITAMIN B2], FOLIC ACID), WHOLE GRAIN WHEAT FLOUR, SOYBEAN OIL, SUGAR, DEFATTED WHEAT GERM, CORNSTARCH, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, CORN SYRUP, SALT, BARLEY MALT SYRUP, LEAVENING (CALCIUM PHOSPHATE, BAKING SODA), MONOGLYCERIDES, SOY LECITHIN (EMULSIFIER), VEGETABLE COLORS (ANNATTO EXTRACT, TURMERIC OLEORESIN), ONION POWDER. " (emphasis added).

There are 3 grams of sugar in each serving. The serving size is 29 grams. How many crackers is that, exactly? How many Americans are familiar enough with grams (apart from "counting fat grams") to know when they've had 29 grams of something?

And why in the name of whole wheat goodness do wheat-based salty snack crackers need to include three kinds of sugar?

The ingredients of which the makers of these snack crackers are most proud--those which they mention on the front of the product--do not include corn syrup. I think they ought to change that. Why not market the corn-syrupy goodness as a "feature"? The front of the box could carry the following type (preferably in large, enthusiastic-looking letters):

"WITH HIGH-FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP!" and "ALSO WITH REGULAR CORN SYRUP!!" and maybe "ALSO WITH SUGAR, IN CASE ALL THAT CORN SYRUP WASN'T MORE THAN SUFFICIENT!!!"

YouTubery - "A Fat Rant"

The "obesity epidemic" is all over the news these days. Tall, slender female anchors deliver the latest statistics on the American waistline with a look of carefully-crafted, news-anchorly concern. It's people's health about which Big Media really cares, right? That's why there are all these ads for weight-loss products and beauty aids--and pizza and hamburgers and ice cream and candy and . . .

Fear. Consume. Repeat.

Enter Joy Nash. This clever, sassy smart woman tells it like it is in her YouTube video, A Fat Rant. Her video is well-written, the delivery heartfelt and the pacing quick. She never shys away from the word "fat." You won't find any euphemisms in this video. This is a shout-out to everyday people struggling not so much with their weight as with the way they feel about their weight.