Scurvy Dogs

Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day, ye scurvy dogs!

"Scurvy" isn't a word I heard very often growing up. When I did hear it, it was often being used in a ye-scurvy-dogs sort of way. As a result, I assumed the word was merely an insulting adjective and carried on drinking large amounts of orange juice, blissfully unaware of the life-saving properties of my favorite beverage. To this day the phrase, "ye scurvey dogs!" brings to mind images of mangy-looking seafaring canines, rather than vitamin-deficient pirates.

Do You Speak English?

I don't speak English either.

I love that video, though I can't help feeling that Eric Idle should be involved in some way.

I Wanna Hold Your Hand - In India(?)

I suppose turnabout is fair play. The Beatles did spend some time in India.

Who Wrote Your Childhood Favorites?

If your favorite author doesn't appear in my poll, please add him or her to the comments. Double plus good if you include book titles, etc.

Madeleine L'Engle

Madeleine L'Engle, November 29, 1918 - September 6, 2007

She wrote stories featuring smart female protagonists when that just "wasn't done." She wove brilliant tapestries of ideas from the simplest, cleanest turns of phrase. Some of the stories she wrote involved interplanetary travel, time travel, evil incarnate, billion-year-old beings (who once were stars), religion, love and physics--but the stories never fell apart.

Like many people, my experience with her work is limited to the Time quartet and one or two of her other novels. Until I read about her death, I had no idea she had written so many things. As it is, I'm already building a reading list in my head.

I could post "Patrick's Rune," but I won't. If you'd like to read it, it's in this MetaFilter thread (which is itself worth the read).

Keepsake

Keepsake! Can I tell you about Keepsake? The environments are beautiful, the puzzles entirely logic-based, the storyline (thusfar) devoid of scenes involving blood, guts, gore or nuclear armaments of any sort. It's my kind of game. The environments--both visual and auditory--are nicely detailed. I'm hooked. I bought the game on Monday night and spent four straight hours playing it. It's fun and engaging. It may just change my mind about computer games.

The only thing I don't like about this game is the acting. It's just really amazingly bad. You're probably thinking, "Well, it's a computer game, what were you expecting?" Yes, gentle readers, but this is industrial-grade, heavy-duty Bad Acting.

As far as I can tell, all of the characters in this small cast are voiced by only two voice actors (one male, one female). Though they've obviously tried to make the various voices sound different from one another, they weren't very successful. Particularly groan-inducing are the sepia-toned "visions" endured by the main character (and hence, by me).

The first of these was so bad, I laughed out loud. Imagine a female William Shatner doing the voices for two computer-animated, sepia-toned little girls who are parting ways for what they know will be a very long time. Imagine tinkly music, a gentle breeze and lots of big-eyed, sad-kidness.

Acting aside, it's a highly enjoyable game. I get a total newbie kick out of just wandering around the castle thinking "Look at that floor! That floor is fantastic! I wish IKEA sold that in snap-lock laminate, I'd totally put some in our kitchen!" Visitors to our kitchen could then say "Your kitchen floor is reminiscent of a virtual, dragon-themed magic school." and I could say, "Well that's the idea. You should see the bathroom."

But I digress.

Over the last four days, I have spent at least seven hours completely nerding out with this game. My husband has wandered in periodically to remind me that there is a world outside my workstation, and to rejoice that I'm finally doing something with my computer besides word-processing. He's highly supportive of this whole endeavor.

After I finish Keepsake, I plan to give Dreamfall: The Longest Journay a try. I've read that the story is very well-written, and am hopeful that this means that the acting will be better as well.

What computer games (if any) are you guys into? Any recommendations for good adventure games?

Poll: Best Musical Retalliation?

I don't actually need advice on the subject of musical retalliation against obnoxious neighbors; ours are pretty quiet for the most part. Still I'm curious about the ways in which other people have used music as a means of communication with nearby rowdies.

If your genre of choice isn't included in the poll, or if you'd care to elaborate, please do so in the comments section of this entry.

Blueberry Muffins

Historically, the results of my culinary efforts have ranged from bland and unspectacular to unintentionally on fire. In 1999, I did make a batch of particularly good scones, but I owe that entirely to a good recipe which was easy for a novice like me to follow.

So last night, when I faced off against my kitchen, a short list of mostly organic ingredients and a recipe for blueberry muffins which I'd found online, I did so with a great deal of determination (if not with enough measuring utensils). With careful attention to the recipe, I felt sure I could manage to turn out something edible. The prep work took me twice as long as the recipe allowed. This is probably because I had to hunt down a couple of things at the last minute, and because I obsessively checked and re-checked the recipe approximately every 28.3 seconds.

After about an hour, I pulled a dozen golden-brown, lovely-smelling blueberry muffins from the oven. I had managed--without setting off the smoke alarm even once--to bake something from scratch. This was an event. Even the Ger-Man (who is a fantastic cook) was impressed.

Rather than rest on my laurels or move on immediately to making pumpkin muffins, I'm going to give the blueberry another try. Next time, I'll add some honey (the only sweetener for which the recipe calls is apple sauce). It'd be great to have a sort of "go to" muffin recipe on which I can build--throwing in blueberries, bananas, almonds or whatever else I happen to have on hand. Such a modular approach to cooking puts me in mind of IKEA, except that making muffins doesn't usually require an alan wrench.

LibraryThing

I'm not one for cluttering up my blog with widgets, thingies, doohickeys and memes but I thought I'd tack one of LibraryThing's widgets to my sidebar. Tempting as it is to fill my online catalog with classics which I've owned for years but never read (which might have boosted my nerd cred, provided I didn't spill the beans about not having read Plato's Republic all the way through--oops. There I go) I've stuck to books I read or am reading because I found them interesting.

LibraryThing allows users to catalog up to 200 books for free. Users can add comments, ratings, tags, dates acquired, read and finished, and even specify the language in which the book is written. Entries may be added by hand, by searching the Library of Congress, Amazon.com or any of a number of other sources.

The virtual packrat in me loves having a web-based way to organize so much data. The cheapskate in me loves that I can catalog up to 200 books for free.

If any of my readers are also on LibraryThing, please feel free to post links to your profiles in the comments.

BANANAPHONE

Thank god there's an internet. If not for this formidable series of tubes, the only people ever to see this video would probably have been the five other members of this kid's high school AV club. And maybe that Latvian guy from the chess team.

Kidding aside, this is hilarious in a way that I can't quite explain. Maybe it's the puppets. Maybe it's the guns on sticks that protrude from the heads of some of the puppets every few frames. Maybe it's the fact that Puppet-Snape kind of looks like Bert from Sesame Street. Whatever. Watch. Laugh. Devote some bandwidth to something besides . . . whatever you usually devote bandwidth to.*

* I devote bandwidth to brazenly ending sentences with prepositions, then creating footnotes to commemorate the accomplishment. Pedantic nerdity is the reason italics exist.**

** In this blog.

I Cite You! I Cite You Some More!

My office manager and I had a discussion today about German food. Her experiences with what was presented to her as "German food" have not been pleasant. She said that everything was boiled and nothing had enough spices in it.

"And there was excessive use of saurkraut."

How awesome would it be to run around citing random people for "excessive use of saurkraut"? I'd like a little notepad full of custom-printed tickets specifically for this purpose. I'd like a jaunty little cap and a bag to wear across my shoulder a la Lovely Rita, Meter Maid.

Libertine

I didn't end up shelling out for the skull-print vest. It seemed a little thin and a lot bright screaming pink with skulls on.

I considered ordering some Libertine things online--particularly the little black dress other bloggers have been raving about--but I didn't think I could trust the sizing, and didn't want to have to bother with returns or exchanges. My instincts proved correct: not only would I have been disappointed by the items I had considered ordering, but I would never have tried the one item which I ended up buying, the "silk bow blouse" pictured at left ($34.99).

The picture makes the blouse look boxy, shortwaisted and . . . bow-y in a Ringling Bros. sort of way. The blouse I saw at the store was another matter. The color was a nice, warm cream. The fit was long, lean and very tailored. The overall effect was very '40's secretary-glam. This would look fantastic with a pencil skirt and maryjane pumps.

As for the other items in the Libertine line, unless you're part of a barbershop quartet, or are channeling Sgt. Pepper*, you'd be better served to look elsewhere for your summer-to-fall wardrobe.

* If you are part of a barbershop quartet or are channelling St. Pepper, for the love of god, post a comment and picture.

Heroes

He only saved a billion people That's one out of every seven people on the planet. We ought to choose our heroes more carefully than we've been doing in recent years.

This Blog is Rated PG

Before making this post, I had used the word "fart" four times, the word "death*" twice and the word "hell" once on this blog. These are the words which earned me the PG rating. In the unlikely event that any child is reading this blog, I hope his or her parents are offering appropriate guidance to help him or her digest these words and the controversial, hot-button issues to which they're tied.

You can run any blog through this rating system/meme here.

*When did I mention death? I don't remember writing about death. Hell, I must be losing my mind. Fart.

Erstes Post auf Deutsch (es ist nicht lang, oder sehr interessant, aber es ist auf Deutsch)

Hallo, alles. Heute, zum ersten Mal, versuche ich ein Post auf Deutsch zu schreiben. Ich habe etwas Hilfe von Babelfish gehabt. Obgleich ich einige Richtlinien der deutschen Grammatik verstehe (na, ich glaube shon!), meine Wortschatz ist nicht groß. Aber, natuerlich kenne ich die wichtigen Woerter das ich im Deutschland haeufig geschprochen habe: "ein Bier, bitte." :)

Rückgespräch und Korrecturen werden immer geschätzt.

Dear Internets: Please feel free to correct my German. :)

* * *
Hello, all. Today, for the first time, I'll try to write a post in German. I had some help from Babelfish. Although I understand a few rules of German Grammar (well, I think so!), my vocabulary isn't big. But naturally I know the important words which I often spoke in Germany: "One beer, please!"

Feedback and corrections would be welcome.

The Irresistible Pull of Argyle . . . And Skulls

Okay, I was all set to make fun of this sweater--of the entire line Libertine has done for Target. I had all these great, snarky comments planned like "I imagine that the American people are in for a long winter of watching suburban soccer moms run around in these things, pining for the good old days when they were bad-asses, just like Debbie in that Bowling For Soup video."

I wrote an entirely different post on the subject* and then I changed my mind.

I took a longer look at this sweater, and checked out the other items on offer at Target's website. I read a couple of reviews by other bloggers. After awhile, I began to find myself strangely drawn to this stuff, particularly to what I know full well is one ugly-ass sweater vest.

But damn, where would I wear a candy-colored, argyle-and-skull-print sweater vest? It wouldn't fit in with the rest of my clothes. My clothes would huddle together and whisper about The Vest.

BASIC WORK PANTS, GREY: I don't know about this: It's so . . . bright.
BASIC WORK PANTS, OTHER GREY: And skully.
BASIC WORK PANTS, BROWN: Yeah. I'm out. I'm definitely out. I can't see this working at all.

The Ger-Man strolled in, and I showed him the picture of The Ugly-Ass Sweater Vest.

"That's ugly." he said. He stared at it for a moment, and then admitted that it's an interesting, unique piece of clothing.

What is it about the combination of argyle and skulls that's so damned appealing? The colors are horrible. I would probably look silly in it, but I can't dismiss it as simply an ugly-ass sweater vest. I have somehow upgraded the thing to An Interesting, Albeit Ugly-Ass, Sweater Vest.

* Because this is the sort of hard-hitting subject I tackle when not writing about Jonathan Coulton, Polkaboy or Whatever Random News Story Pissed Me Off The Most This Morning.

Reduced Fat Wheat Thins - The Sweetest Thing?

Ingredients list from Nabisco's website.

"Ingredients: ENRICHED FLOUR (WHEAT FLOUR, NIACIN, REDUCED IRON, THIAMINE MONONITRATE [VITAMIN B1], RIBOFLAVIN [VITAMIN B2], FOLIC ACID), WHOLE GRAIN WHEAT FLOUR, SOYBEAN OIL, SUGAR, DEFATTED WHEAT GERM, CORNSTARCH, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, CORN SYRUP, SALT, BARLEY MALT SYRUP, LEAVENING (CALCIUM PHOSPHATE, BAKING SODA), MONOGLYCERIDES, SOY LECITHIN (EMULSIFIER), VEGETABLE COLORS (ANNATTO EXTRACT, TURMERIC OLEORESIN), ONION POWDER. " (emphasis added).

There are 3 grams of sugar in each serving. The serving size is 29 grams. How many crackers is that, exactly? How many Americans are familiar enough with grams (apart from "counting fat grams") to know when they've had 29 grams of something?

And why in the name of whole wheat goodness do wheat-based salty snack crackers need to include three kinds of sugar?

The ingredients of which the makers of these snack crackers are most proud--those which they mention on the front of the product--do not include corn syrup. I think they ought to change that. Why not market the corn-syrupy goodness as a "feature"? The front of the box could carry the following type (preferably in large, enthusiastic-looking letters):

"WITH HIGH-FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP!" and "ALSO WITH REGULAR CORN SYRUP!!" and maybe "ALSO WITH SUGAR, IN CASE ALL THAT CORN SYRUP WASN'T MORE THAN SUFFICIENT!!!"

Oldness

Last night, I actually dreamed about taking a nap. If I start dreaming about wearing double-knit polyester and watching The Price is Right, I may need an Emergency Anti-Aging Intervention.

On a Monday morning, who doesn't need a bit of cheering up, or at least a five-minute escape from Monday "ness."?

1. The Museum of Online Museums: spend some time wandering around the National Gallery of Art, or check out the Smithsonian Art Museum Weblog.

2. At The Internet Archive, you can find everything from recordings of concerts to those nifty old postwar social conformity "mental hygiene" films from the 1950's.

3. Enchanted Ceiling: Photos of the sky above various places all over the world.

My apologies for the lack of title to this post. For some reason, Blogger won't let me into that field. Weirdness. It is The Post That Would Not Be Titled.

The Lied and Art Song Text Page

"As someone once remarked to Schubert, 'take us to your Lieder.'"

The Lied and Art Song Texts Site. Lyrics to over 19,000 art songs and Lieder (by many other people in addition to Schubert).